Say "Yes" Now Not Later

Hey, so I don't usually do a lot of serious-ish blog posts about life, the universe, and everything, but I just wanted to share with you a scary pattern I've noticed in myself lately.  I make plans.

You know when you're on Pinterest and you go on a pinning frenzy and say "When I get married I want this," "When I have kids we'll do this," "On Monday I'll start this workout," and we make these plans, but when the day actually comes we forget all about them. In the morning we hit snooze on the alarm and don't go on that run.

I did four internships in college so that I'd have a job lined up when I got out. I said I wanted to write a children's book. I said I wanted to be an artist. I got married and made plans to support my husband so that he could finish school and not have to work so hard. I planned to travel. I said and planned a whole lot of stuff…. But it didn’t really work out.

The job I had lined up fell through. My husband took a second job so that he could still go to school while supporting us. My first few steps as a legitimate, grown up adult and I landed splat on my face. And I had to face the reality that I wasn’t who I thought I was. I was all talk.

I wasn’t an artist, or a children’s author, or a successful businesswoman.  I was a planner, and I got ahead of myself. I was terrified of rejection and failure, but everything stayed pretty in my head, all the things I hadn’t done yet.



I realized that I had been putting everything off, thinking “one day” I’ll be all of those things. But I won’t be any of those things if I don’t start working for them now.

So, lately I’ve been trying to say, “yes” to things right here and right now. Not “one day when…”

I want to be an artist, then I will be an artist now. I want to write a children’s book, then I will write it now, not later. I’ll look for my dream job right now even though right now I’m just a barista in a bookstore cafe. I want to travel, then I will save every tip I get at work. I want to dye my hair pink, then dadgummit I’m gonna dye my hair pink! I’m gonna Carpe that Diem, and YOLO and all of that clichéd stuff.



I’m going to work hard now so that I can become that person that I want to be.
I’ve learned a lot in these past few months, and after a lot of anxious nights ripe with self-loathing I can finally say that I love myself… the way I am now. I won’t love my later-self any more or any less. I don’t love my husband, parents or friends based on their success, so why is success a condition for me to be able love myself? That’s dumb.I just walked into a local hipster coffee shop and asked if I could hang some of my art on their walls. I’VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK THAT FOR MONTHS! Why did I put it off? Freaking fear of rejection. So overrated. Now that I’ve already kind of failed, the idea failing is a lot less scary.

Anyway, all that to say, if you are frustrated with your dreams not yet coming true then I feel ya. I’m here to say you are not a failure.  Tell me your dreams, I’ll listen. Maybe a brainstorm is all you need to get the ball rolling.

Love and Narwhals,

Sydney